misora | Dear Individuals Concerned With Global Ramifications of Childbearing.

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Dear Individuals Concerned With Global Ramifications of Childbearing.

Yes, I'm planning on having a child.

There is no reason for me not to want a baby. I'm in my mid-thirties, I'm quite financially stable. My boyfriend and I bring in more than enough money to keep ourselves comfortable while simultaneously caring for another human being. And two cats. I'm healthy and free of diseases and ailments. At the risk of sounding immodest, we have really good genes, and our kids would do nothing but benefit from it.

Yes, I'm perfectly aware that the planet is becoming over-populated. (Not quite there, yet, by the way. This planet can handle six billion people. Check again in 100 years, and that might be a very different story.) Yes, I'm aware that someday resources might be more scarce than they are now.

I'm aware because I'm a conscientous person. I educate myself, I care about the environment, I care about the well-being of society. Every day I work, I'm helping facilitate the development of molecules and compounds that will cure human diseases around the world. I follow the rules, from traffic lights to the mandate of the government as a whole. I help people in need.

So why does someone equate me having a baby with being detrimental to the global population, as a whole? Why would they think there are so many other things I could do to benefit humanity, other than have children?

News flash - I'm not having a baby because I believe I'm doing the world - or the human species - a favor. No, really, I'm not quite that arrogant. I've led a relatively low-profile lifestyle; you wouldn't know my name unless you read tons of scientific journals often enough - and I'm not talking about that "Scientific American" horseshit. I mean the real, hardcore scientific publications with wording that most need an interpreter to decipher. I'm sure whatever child/children (yes, I'm planning on having more than one, gasp!) I have, they will not be world-renowned people. At least, I don't think so.

Hopefully, they will be successful someday at what they choose to do. Hopefully they will be happy, which is really the more important thing anyway. And being world-renowned does not necessarily equate with that.

I'm having a child - and potentially more than one, if nature allows it - because I love my family, both my natural one and my extended one, and I love my boyfriend and his family. I've grown up having a feeling of responsibility for the success and the continuation of my family, which maybe certain people who are so against childbearing have either never experienced for themselves, or forgotten. I'm doing it for myself, because I want children I can teach and love and care for, like my parents and grandparents taught and loved and cared for me. I'm doing it because I've earned my right in this world, through hard work and conscientous behavior, to have them...and they deserve a chance to exist.

I'm aware that different people choose not to have children for a variety of reasons. Financially they can't support it (which IMO should be the biggest reason not to have one); perhaps they have physical or mental illnesses that they'd rather not pass on to biological offspring; they choose to not interrupt the peaceful flow of their everyday working lives with a squalling, burping, puking, pooing bundle of inarticulate frustration. I can understand all of these things, believe me.

But they are not me. And I choose otherwise.

So bottom line, for all of you who feel like I'm doing a disservice to my fellow man by bringing yet another human into the world, take your "eco-friendly-minded" judgmentalness and shove it up your ass. And while you're busy doing that, take a minute to turn that judgemental eye inward, and decide how your choices in life have contributed to making society/the world better, as a whole. Are you actively contributing to society? Are your taxes going to where they should, to benefit those in need? Are you working, at all for your fellow man? Do you donate to charity? Do you ever volunteer your time to those less fortunate? Do you rescue unwanted animals from shelters, or do you pay upwards of $800 for custom-bred pets?

I'm going to have children. More than one, because I don't want them to be an only child. Maybe two or three. And I'm going to raise them to be good, moral people, and they are going to be loved and cherished by everyone around them. And whatever "carbon footprint" they leave behind will likely be drowned out by someone in another newly-industrialized country. Did you know the US has been surpassed now, in terms of harmful emissions? ...No, I didn't think you did.

And someday? Who knows. You might even thank me.

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*facepalm*

They need to shut up. Seriously. And stop giving those of us who don't want to reproduce a bad name.

I'm not having babies because 1) the thought of being pregnant and giving birth genuinely disgusts and squicks me in ways you cannot imagine, and 2) I have no patience for kids over 1 year old anyway. It has nothing to do with being green, unless it's in the "oh fuck, I'm going to be sick" kind of way.

"the thought of being pregnant and giving birth genuinely disgusts and squicks me in ways you cannot imagine"

*huggles* Finally, someone who feels the same.

I couldn't agree more.

And I totally understand your reasons for not having any. It's everyone's right to decide whether they do or don't want to undertake such a thing - and everyone's decisions regarding it should be respected, and not judged for stupid (not to mention misinformed) reasons. :)

It's everyone's right to decide whether they do or don't want to undertake such a thing - and everyone's decisions regarding it should be respected, and not judged for stupid (not to mention misinformed) reasons. :)

THIS. TIMES, LIKE, 6 BILLION.

As someone else who doesn't wish to reproduce, I agree. A choice is a choice. If one decides to have kids and feels they can handle the responsibilities involved, then by all means, go for it. If one feels they can't handle having kids, then that's their choice as well.

My reasons aren't for the purposes of being green, either. I just prefer cats because they're easier for me to take care of. Plus, fibroids run in the family, and I don't wish to subject my future daughters to that kind of pain where they'd have to get major surgery in the end (my mom and her sisters had to have the female plumbing yanked). My period is debilitating, and I shudder to think that's my future as it is (not that I need the stupid thing anyways...it's just that surgery is not fun).

Congratulations! It's a big decision and one you've thoroughly thought through. And while I'll admit I'm one of those "earth's already overpopulated" people, I've done enough research myself to understand that certain countries are at a much higher risk for the effects of overpopulation and others at risk for the effects of underpopulation (ie: not enough male/female ration, smaller gene pool, not enough young workers to replace the retirees). So have a kid, or two or three and don't feel guilty. *hugs* I'll congratulate you again when we hear the good news.

Thank you! :)

It *is* a huge decision, and something I've personally wrestled with for some time, now. But I've always (even as a teenager, although I knew it was a long way off) thought that I would be a mother, someday. I had the instincts already, and luckily now I have a financially and emotionally stable life enough to do so.

*hugs back* Thank you so much for understanding where I'm coming from, and I promise to keep you in the loop! :D

For me it's exactly the opposite. I've always known I don't want a baby, although there were times I considered it. Logically though, raising an infant would be difficult considering my migraines and I am utterly terrified of the thought of being pregnant. Don't know what it is, but the thought makes my skin crawl. *shrugs* However I do plan to foster/adopt older children when the time is right,

I feel pretty much exactly the same way. I've always known that I just didn't want kids because I just have no desire whatsoever to raise another human being. And being pregnant is the absolute most disgusting thing I can imagine happening to my body.

I think it's the whole "having another lifeform inside me, feeding off my innards, and which will one day be violently expelled" thing. I can't watch the movie Alien for that reason, especially since I know the pregnancy parallel was 100% intentional.

Yep. Alien pretty much nixed the whole pregnancy thing for me too.

PS: Your icon is WIN! May I steal?

All of my icons are totally stealable. I don't even care about credit =D

^_^ Thanks!

Good on you for actually putting some thought into why and how you want to have a kid.

holy sh*t. Did someone actually give you crap about having a kid? I live in one of the hippiest dippiest places on the planet and I have yet to see anything like that. We have more doulas than you can shake a stick at.

Just because the world in general is a little overpopulated doesn't mean that who can bring a kid into the world the right way shouldn't. It would be dumb for the US to go into negative population growth just to balance out countries that don't have the resources to sustain their own growth. It should be more about improving medical care and education in poorer countries so they don't feel obligated to pound out a ton of kids because of the country's crappy life expectancy.

I don't want kids because I know any progeny of mine will be demon-spawn. With the technology available nowadays my kid would be in jail at 8 years of age for hacking into the DoD database.

^^ Thanks for your comment! No, I didn't actually have someone telling me this to my face, per se. But I've had conversations with people about this previously, who were like, "omg WHY do you want to have a kid?? Don't you know that one person in the US uses as much resources as ten people in Nigeria?!?" or some such. But recently I came across a blog post that just...infuriated me with this same notion. And I know if I were to talk to this person directly, they would say exactly that to me.

And very good point about the detriment of the US going into negative population growth. The world depends on the US just as much as we depend on them, albeit for different things. If the US economy were to completely collapse due to negative population growth, the precarious situations in Europe and Asia would quickly follow suit. No one seems to realize that, as well.

Congratulations on making this decision and having the means to go through with it! I'm happy for you ^_^

I'm looking forward to the day when the man and I can look at our paychecks and decide we can try this whole babies thing :D

Thank you! :D

And yeah, the financial thing is often a hindrance. It took years for me to get to the salary level I'm at, and it's the same for my b/f. But when you're in a place to do so, you should go for it, definitely. :)

We're planning to go for it as soon as we have our degrees :) I should be done by 2012. I'm not sure how long it'll be before the man has his, though.

:D I'm happy with your decision, so there it be your solemn decision because is your body, your heart and your desires :D. I'm glad because is a nice thing to think, maybe the world is overpopulated, but everybody has the right to decide to have or not a child. You are an adult with strong believes and you know how you feel about it.

All I had to said is congratulations about it :D I'm looking forward for all the news when in fact you get preggy :D. I really will be nice to know about you and your future babies :D. So congratulations :D you will be a very loving and wonderful mom :D

And congrants to you boyfriend and family :D
A new life, is always a blessing :D.

Congrats, yo. I've also been having this conversation with the husband lately, as I'm now approaching thirty (which was when my mother gave birth to me, and to this day I still base my accomplishments on hers) and feel like I should make the decision sometime soon. It sounds like you're putting in some serious thought, and that is the first responsible step towards producing life.

Best of luck to you both.

People actually said that stuff to you? What assholes.

Good luck!

Congrats on entering a new stage in life! You will have wonderful children and don't think any about that anti-child bull.

Has the media's hold on society screwed it up that badly that having a child is *that bad* for the environment? How about going to Norway, where the birthing rate is so low the government's paying their people to procreate? Or have fertility parks that blatantly say "have babies!"?

(Some part of me wants to say they should move back with their parents so that deforestation doesn't keep happening~ less wasted space. Or stop using the internet because servers need coolants, and are making the world warmer also.)

How about telling the animals to not reproduce, surely Elephant's, whales, and creatures bigger than us produce more carbon emissions? (I'm an animal lover, would have dogs if I didn't live in such a cramped space)

(/eco-rant)

I'm not too enthusiastic about *having* children, but I believe it is my filial duty to provide my parents progeny, and maybe, take that long shot chance, have that dream, that my child can help the world. My father was from the mountains in the Philippines. My mother's family came from Spain and because of bureaucrats they became poor. I was born in the in slums, but now, I'm in NYC, and studying in one of the elite schools in america (not being boastful!).

Life changes, people change, the world/earth/universe/God has laws that keep it in balance. Rain comes, earth shakes/quakes, oceans rise--if they were so intelligent, didn't they know that the world has reset over and over again (death of dino's and the iceage)? Homo-sapiens (who are quite evolutionarily unadaptive, unlike cockroaches), though a destructive force, can be a constructive force too and that's what gives me hope for the next generation.

(/zen-type rant)

I'm sorry I wrote so long your rant subject scared me and hit a chord. Congrats again, and don't worry about inane things like that. Your body, your time, effort.

YOUR Love. <3 YOUR CHILD(ren).

I'm also considering kids with my husband (1 or 2), and I've also noticed the tactless comments about overpopulation, kids suck, etc. My only thought about it is: if the hillbillies and the Duggars are not stopping themselves to think if they are doing the right thing by breeding, then I'm not stopping myself from actually having and raising smart children. It's not their business if I want my husband and I to grow up with people we love and who love us back.

Major props to you. Anyone who says otherwise doesn't know what they're talking about.

However many children you have, I know that they'll grow up to fine, upstanding people.

People give others shit for not having kids, then they give people shit for having kids... people need to fuck off and stop concerning themselves with other people's personal choices.

Psh.

You want a kid? DO IT. Fuck everyone else.

Yup. :D

*late to the party here* Awesome post. You're well thought-out which is great, and are absolutely right that potential future numbers or whatever statistic population figures some jagoff whips up shouldn't dictate what you do in your family life.

Financially they can't support it (which IMO should be the biggest reason not to have one)
This. My best friend is pregnant and moved from the East Coast to AZ a couple weeks ago to be with her boyfriend who she had known for 6 weeks when it happened. (she thinks it's Twoo Wuv, see) She has no job prospects heading out there, and he's in school with only a few hours of part-time work per week under his belt. Yeah, this is going to end well.

So on the other hand, it's so amazing to be able to read your thoughts like that and know that SOME people out there really do think and choose for themselves to start families for the right reasons. Go you!

I agree with everyone, you want a kid, you have a kid..shit, have three, four even. Anyone who has a problem with it can get fucked. Reproduce..listen to your animal instinct. And fuck adopting..nothing but a little miniature version of yourself will suffice.

...Thanks a lot, Canadian guy. You of all people should be perfectly aware of the strong ties between family, shouldn't you?

From now on, I'll no longer be accepting anonymous comments in my journal. You have yourself and your thoughtless comments to thank for that.

Go fuck yourself.

I'm a bit behind on there (blame the fact I never read LJ anymore), but I figure I'd throw my two cents in on this as well.

First off, congrats. Your kid will be awesome in all ways the assholes who have spewed or insinuated the shit you posted cannot even possibly fathom.

Secondly, the fact that anyone actually had the GALL to tell you shit like that in response to you wanting to have a kid is ridiculous. FUCK THEM. If they don't want to reproduce, it's their choice. I could go into further rantings about it, but I think you know what direction I'm heading with that.

Excellent post. And good luck and much love to you both. <3

D'awww, thank you doll!

I still have to respond to a lot of the posts here, but it's so nice to see that people are (for the most part) so supportive and understanding of my point of view. I'm glad I have all of you guys and girls on my flist. ^______^

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Dear Individuals Concerned With Global Ramifications of Childbearing.

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(frozen comment) bitter, party of one, your table's ready

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